You can’t let the darkness win

Today, as I worked on sizing up an opportunity, I felt the darkness take hold.

It was the little voice telling me I’m not good enough, not young enough, and not ready.

The interesting thing was that I had an awareness that none of it was true. I’m everything I need to be right now, and I was able to discern that – there was the slight pause or gap which allowed me to insert a more useful message.

That pause has taken years to develop, and I’m grateful that I was able to call on it today.

Tomorrow is a new day. Onward …

Tomorrow my Quest begins

Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be leaving the cottage – my refuge and sanctuary for the past 6 weeks – to return to the city and my personal Quest.  By Quest, I mean my search for my next career opportunity.

When I started this blog, my intention was to focus on grand, mythical themes.  The reality of my next few days is that they will be anything but grand or mythical.  They’ll actually be pretty tactical and perhaps even a bit bland.

I’ll be updating my LinkedIn profile, and other social media sites.  I’ll search for opportunities via LinkedIn, as well.  Pretty mundane stuff, but important and necessary.

I think the lesson here, for me anyway is that a large, grand, mythical life sometimes looks pretty basic and mundane.  But, the magic is in making the most of these simple moments – be present, give my best and do each task with expectation and gratitude.  I often have to remember to remember to do that – let’s see how it goes.

The Hero’s Quest: A mix of mission and desire.

In the past week, I’ve talked about how I’m keen to understand my mission in life – the thing I was put on this planet to do.  My assumption has always been that it’s a mix of supernatural need implanted within me, but that there’s also an element of desire in the mission.

I know that I want to make a difference, to add value and to make beautiful, elegant products or services.  That comes from my heart, but also from my soul.

What could my personal myth look like today? Today’s struggle …

Well, that’s a question I’ve been asking myself for a while.  Which dragon do I need to slay?  Is it fear?  I’ve lived with that one for too much of my life.

Where do I need to stand up and be counted?

Which risk should I take that I simply cannot afford to NOT take in order to move my life forward?

I think part of being a hero is seeing and feeling the fear to move forward, yet deciding that movement is the only way to be saved.  The only way to change.  The only way to become all that we’re meant to be.

I’m sure you can tell I’m grappling (struggling??!!) with this today.  The old fear demons are taking hold, and I’m hoping that by writing about them today, that I’ll be able to move beyond them.

Finding one’s mission in life – the hero’s quest.

I love Richard Bolles’ path to mission in life from his book:  “What Color is Your Parachute?”  He describes a 3-step process on page 271 of the 2014 edition:

  1. to seek to stand hour by hour in the conscious presence of God, the One from whom your mission is derived“:  I’m not a religious person, but I do believe in a universal consciousness, so this works for me.  What a wonderful goal – to seek out one’s version of our creator / source, and to connect with that source.
  2. to do what you can, moment by moment, day by day, step by step, to make this world a better place, following the leading and guidance of God’s Spirit within you and around you“:  Since reading this, I’ve made it my intention to remember to act this way as much as I can through the day.  I’m not perfect, believe me, and I fail at this more than I succeed, but the intention is clear, and it helps me to feel better about my Hero’s Quest.
  3. to exercise the Talent that you particularly came to Earth to use–your greatest gift, which you most delight to use …“:  I’m intrigued by the path Bolles lays out here, and which I feel makes sense for me.

Connect to your source, do good deeds, and do what you love to do most to make the world a better place.  Wonderful!

The hero of my own life.

I should mention that one of the key themes I want to play out here is the idea of becoming the hero of my own life.

On some level, I think that becoming my own hero is a worthy goal.  Not out of hubris, but out of a desire to see what I’m capable of becoming as a person.  What fears do I need to move beyond?  What do I need to embrace?  What do I need to let go?  What is my quest?  Can I move beyond my fears and answer the Call?  [The answer has been “No” up to this point – too afraid to let go and take a risk.]

This time in the world, and this life, offer so many opportunities.  I want to move beyond being a spectator and become an active participant.

I’m not sure I know how to be a hero.  It has not been part of my lexicon.  But, that was then … this is now.

What do I know about my Call?

I know that this journey will involve my creativity, and making things – whatever the things end up being.  Could be a product, could be a service.  Not sure.

It will also allow conversation and work around ideas – big ideas I hope.  Ideas that can help change the world – if even on the scale of a microcosm in my immediate world.

Abundance will be a natural extension of my Call.  As will be elegance of solution and/or design.

Seth Godin, one of my favourite authors talks about becoming an Artist, in his book The Icarus Deception.  I want to be an artist – to be remarkable.  I’ve never honestly tried to be remarkable with intent in the past.  Always felt too rushed to take the extra care required to do beautiful, elegant, remarkable work.  It has hurt me on various levels, and I’ve carried the baggage of those decisions for many, many years.  Time to let them go.

Currently, I’m working at my wife’s family cottage, fixing and repairing decks, windows and such.  With each fix I do, I’m trying to incorporate some element of remarkable and elegance in the job.  So far, so good.  Some of these elegant fixes are small and seemingly incomprehensible to the people who view them.  Yet, I know they’re there, and that’s what counts.

The sense of accomplishment and release this has given me is quite wonderful.

So, I’m responding to some of the Call today.  And, seeking to more fully open myself to it as I go along.

That’s where I’ll find my answer, and the understanding that goes with it.  Fun, fun, fun!

The Hero’s Call

Every myth requires a hero, and every hero requires that they answer the Call.  That’s a question I’ve been stymied by my whole life.  What is my Call?

There are some who would say just “be”, and that the Call will find its way to me.  I have found it more difficult than I would have thought to just be.

I have a feeling that my Call will be something of my choosing.  And, it will also allow me to just “be”.  I think this blog is part of my Call – or will be part of a meandering path to it.

For now, my Call will be to keep writing about these ideas, and then see where they take me.

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And, so it begins …

What if we could apply myth to our lives?  What if we could find meaning and hope through those myths for our lives – for us?

I’ve always been a bit envious of those who lived in the medieval world – when magic and myth was part of the fabric of one’s life.  (I realize it was not Avalon – life was tough and short.)  Those myths became – I would imagine – anchors that helped those living in that time to place themselves in the world.

I know that I don’t always feel my place in the world – or how I should fit into it.  Those same anchors don’t exist for me – never have.  But, I think they’re important.  And, I think that the lack of them in my life has left me somewhat adrift.

I must admit that during those times, all I had to move me forward was hope that there was more to me than I was showing the world.  Hope that I could anchor myself to something important and special for me.

I have a sense that I can find that anchor via myth.  Perhaps a myth of my own creation – just for me.

That’s what this blog is about, and that’s what I want to pursue.  Let’s see where this goes …

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