On new ground

I’m in a new place right now. Not physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Today, I realized that all of my energy these past few months has been focused on finding a new opportunity. That Quest required specific actions and energy. Now that I’ve found my next opportunity, I need to direct my energy, my drive and my actions into success in the new role – this new Quest.

One could say it does not matter, and maybe for some it truly doesn’t. However, as I sit here writing this post, I’ve come to the conclusion that it matters to me. I know it’s true for me because I’ve felt out-of-sorts all day, and could not put my finger on it until now. I’ll try to explain; don’t know that I can – it’s a feeling …

I think it has to do with the comedown related to ending the Quest to find a new opportunity. That Quest was my total focus for the past two months. Now that I have a new opportunity, all of the expectations, hopes and dreams that fuelled my actions have been fulfilled to one degree or another. When I achieved my goal, and slayed that dragon, I was left with a void in my life, and a pretty big one, based on how I felt today.

Now, I need to set out on this new Quest, and create a new set of expectations, hopes and dreams for this role. That’s the piece I was missing today. I need to define this new Quest, and determine where the value is for me in it.

As I’ve written previously, it’s not about the money any longer (although I do need to make that, too). I need to know I’m adding value and becoming something bigger than I am today. I need to create a new vision for myself in this role, and a big one. (I’ve learned that I’m not motivated by small goals. I need ’em big, and hairy!)

Even as I write these words, I can feel a surge of energy in my body. And, a heightened awareness of the task ahead. This does connect to my answering The Call a few months ago.

Now, I need to connect the dots, so that the vision I create makes sense and provides a path.

How’s this Myth thing going anyway?

I’ve been on this Myth Quest for almost 3 months now.

So, how’s it going?

That’s a fair question and one I’ve given thought to today.

It’s safe to say that the most significant contribution penning this blog has made in my life is that it has kept me accountable – to you and to myself.

The accountability factor is more mental than it is physical. It’s not about ensuring I write every day. I enjoy writing, which is a great outcome I’ve gleaned from this blogging process. A nice bonus!

No, the accountability is related to ensuring I keep to my mission: to answer the Call.

Even when I try to deny the Call out of fear or doubt, I cannot now escape knowing it’s there in front of me. Calling to me, so to speak.

My biggest fear right now is that I’ll settle – for less – of myself and in my decisions the Call is asking me to make.

You see, the Call is not concerned with success or failure. It doesn’t care if you risk everything in order to answer the Call’s siren song. That’s my fear; that’s the doubt!

What I’ve learned is the Call is a little like Pandora’s Box. Once opened, I can’t put it back in again.

It’s always there, it’s real and it has high expectations of me. Can I trust enough for that to be enough?

It’s important to know what you want from life

Today, I learned – not learned really – but was able to affirm something we’re all told about life: You’ve got to know what you expect from it.

Too often in my past, I made decisions without referencing them against my deepest desires. That can make for an unfulfilled existence, and also have us quest in the wrong direction.

Today, I was presented with an opportunity and had to admit at the end of the meeting that we’re probably a poor fit. My goals for the role, it seemed to me, were somewhat at odds with their goals.

I was able to quickly ascertain this, as I have a map, and when I layered this opportunity on it, I saw that we’re heading in different directions. Damn!

My expectations going into the meeting were that we were aligned. I can’t say that any longer.

As much as there’s disappointment, there’s also gratitude. In order for a door to open, another may need to close.

And, opportunity expands. Or was it me?

Today, I was fortunate to meet – to interview and be interviewed by – six leaders at an industry-leading company with a great mission.

Everyone I met was a smart, savvy, engaged professional. They all saw golden opportunity for me at the company.

This Quest has been very important to me. In it, I’ve evaluated every opportunity as a chance to further my efforts to answer the Call. The Call to be all that I can be, to take risks and make a difference in my life, and hopefully the world.

My concern going into these meetings was that I’d be a cog in a wheel at this company. Not a great way to answer the Call!

However, after 11 – yes 11 – meetings, I now see an opportunity to add value. I can’t quantify where that will happen yet. I don’t know the industry, company or customers well enough. But, I perceive an environment in which I can bring my best to the table, and make a difference.

No offers on the table yet, and I’ve got some thinking to do to compare this opportunity to the other one I have in play.

But, by going in and asking lots of good questions, I see a possible home here for me. You can’t imagine how that feels – amazing really.

An end to a wonderful, blessed day. Once again, I am a very grateful man.

A conundrum

I think I’m about to be faced with a conundrum on this Quest for a great, new opportunity.

This week, I’ll be in final interviews with one of two firms I’m evaluating. However, I’ve only started the process with the second firm. I may be faced with an offer from one before I’ve had a chance to fully evaluate the other. Both are great companies and they both offer great opportunity.

Believe me, I’m not complaining about this situation. However, I was really hoping to be able to fully evaluate both, before being asked to make a choice for either.

I’d like to think that this is where my intuition has a role to play in selecting the right opportunity.

My strategy will be to go to that still, quiet place and to seek answers there. This decision is about more than a job or money. It’s about fully answering the Call, and being an active participant in that flow.

There’s risk in following the Call, but I have to believe that’s what makes the reward all the sweeter.

No real movement today, but no back steps either

Today was a day in which there was no major Quest activity, but no backward momentum either.

I worked on solidifying my upcoming meetings next week, and the week after, and that’s about it.

The truth of the Call is that not every day is going to be action-packed, nor full of the major emotions I’ve been writing about these past couple months:  Hope, Abundance, Fear, Doubt.

You know, I”m OK that today was just a day.  They, too, are the stuff of life.

It’s about making the right decision, not the easy one

Today, I had another insight about my Quest for my next opportunity, and how it relates to the Call.

It’s a decision about what’s right, not what’s easy – or known.

The Call takes us into unfamiliar territory. It forces us to embrace change. It mandates that we stare down our fears and still move forward. And, it does this without any guarantee of success.

What it promises in return is that we get to live our best, authentic selves. We live life on our terms.

It offers freedom and all the effects and responsibilities that comes with it.

That’s all it offers, and that’s enough.

It’s a spiritual quest

Today, while on a long walk with my dog, I realized that my quest to find the perfect opportunity is really a spiritual quest.  For me, now, it is anyway.

I have a deep and burning desire to bring meaning to my next venture.  I can feel the truth of that need in every fibre of my being.  It is not to be shunned or overlooked.  Not any more!

This feeling I’m describing is something that I just know has to be true for me on this next venture.  No substitutions, no excuses, no accepting less than I can be.

I know that when I see it, I’ll know it to be my right choice – the way to bring me to the Call.

That’s really what happened on the walk today.  I received a complete image of that right choice, with positive feelings that told me the choice would be whole and right.

I’m getting closer to this truth.

Fear, Doubt, Intuition and Hope: Partners in the Call

I know I come back to these themes on a regular basis.  I have to, as for to me, I am forced to embrace these aspects of the Call day in, day out. Today is a perfect example of what I mean.

As you know, I’m very selectively pursuing strategic opportunities in my professional – and let’s face it – my personal life. They’re all connected.  You don’t make decisions for one, without it also being a decision for the other.

I’m getting close to the end of the evaluation / due-diligence phase with one opportunity.  I can feel the fear and doubt ramp up in volume within me.  So loud in fact, that they are masking the subtle intuitive nudges, and the hope I carry for a wonderful, bright future.

I guess I’ve come to realize that the bravest hero still confronts fear and doubt.  It’s what they do with them that matters.  Today, I felt the fear and doubt in a big way:  “Will I make the right choice, when it’s time to do so?”  That’s the usual question I confront.

That’s where I put my faith in my ability to take a deep breath, and make the right decision.  It all starts and ends with me.

I now embrace all aspects of this journey to the Call – fear, doubt, intuition and hope.

Welcome, as I know you’re telling me a change is about to happen.  And, that’s good.

Standing at the crossroads

I’m standing at the crossroads these days – today – now.  The quest is calling to me, and I’ve verbally said: “Yes”.  But, I don’t know where to go with it.

I feel the need – a deep desire even – to find an opportunity, that to use terminology from my sister, keeps me away from “the dark side”.  The dark side is what I know.  It is comfortable.  I will not say it’s easy.  It gave me heart disease, and two stents.

But, it’s what I know.  However, I also know it’s not where my passion lies.

The dark side allows me to solve a financial problem I have today.  And, I may have to take that path for a few years, until I figure out – somehow – where my light side is located.

Writing this feels like a total cop out, and it is, I know.

I have to find the strength to keep moving along the path to the light side.  It’s time for this hero to be brave.  The dragon is breathing down on me.  I can feel its fire on my body.

The decision is to be my own hero, or become a serf in someone else’s story.

I want to say that I’ve decided to be a hero, but I’m at the crossroads, and feel a strong pull to turn and run away.  The dragon is winning … tonight, it’s winning.