Today, while walking my dog in a beautiful wooded park, I found my thoughts drifting to doubt and fear. What a shame!
There I was in a quiet, wonderful place, with one of my pals – Scout, our 15-month Yellow Lab. But, I wasn’t there with her. I was off worrying about my future.
I have worked hard to stay present, and shape my thoughts into those that serve me. And, it’s work. Some of the hardest I’ve ever done.
I don’t wish for a quick fix here because that would not serve me either. This work is the work that matters most. It’s what helps us to become who we really are in this life. Heroes! On the Quest that matters, in answer to the Call.
I do feel I’m on the path to my best self – it’s just not a straight line.
I’m standing at the crossroads these days – today – now. The quest is calling to me, and I’ve verbally said: “Yes”. But, I don’t know where to go with it.
I feel the need – a deep desire even – to find an opportunity, that to use terminology from my sister, keeps me away from “the dark side”. The dark side is what I know. It is comfortable. I will not say it’s easy. It gave me heart disease, and two stents.
But, it’s what I know. However, I also know it’s not where my passion lies.
The dark side allows me to solve a financial problem I have today. And, I may have to take that path for a few years, until I figure out – somehow – where my light side is located.
Writing this feels like a total cop out, and it is, I know.
I have to find the strength to keep moving along the path to the light side. It’s time for this hero to be brave. The dragon is breathing down on me. I can feel its fire on my body.
The decision is to be my own hero, or become a serf in someone else’s story.
I want to say that I’ve decided to be a hero, but I’m at the crossroads, and feel a strong pull to turn and run away. The dragon is winning … tonight, it’s winning.
As I’ve been considering my path or quest of late, I’ve come to realize that my path may not be what others want for me. Or, the path others think I should be taking.
Each of us has to strive to live as authentic a life as possible, and that may mean our wishes go counter to those around us.
I’m obviously not speaking of being reckless on the path, just doing what my heart tells me is right – for me.
I’ve come to realize that being the hero of my own life, may not make me a hero in someone else’s life. But, that’s the gig.