Today, while walking my dog in a beautiful wooded park, I found my thoughts drifting to doubt and fear. What a shame!
There I was in a quiet, wonderful place, with one of my pals – Scout, our 15-month Yellow Lab. But, I wasn’t there with her. I was off worrying about my future.
I have worked hard to stay present, and shape my thoughts into those that serve me. And, it’s work. Some of the hardest I’ve ever done.
I don’t wish for a quick fix here because that would not serve me either. This work is the work that matters most. It’s what helps us to become who we really are in this life. Heroes! On the Quest that matters, in answer to the Call.
I do feel I’m on the path to my best self – it’s just not a straight line.
Well, tonight I’ve been getting ready for a major trip to visit the headquarters of a company I’ve been interviewing with these past few weeks.
On Thursday, I’ll be in five consecutive 1-hour interviews for what I think is a great position with the company.
Today, as I was getting ready, I could feel the fear and doubt rise up, and try to take over my day. I was able to re-focus on the goal: a series of great two-way conversations with people who can help me validate the opportunity and it’s fit to my Quest.
I have a sense of the potential for this role, and I think I could fit right into it. It would be a return to a large company culture; a place where I’ve been very successful in the past. And, I do believe the opportunity is sound, too. I could make my mark here.
Tomorrow I travel, and then do my final prep for the meetings on Thursday. More tomorrow night …
I spent a good part of the day preparing for a 1st interview with a firm here in Toronto. The interview is tomorrow, and it is with a company I’ve been following for a few years, and respect very much.
As I went through my steps to prepare for the meeting, I could feel the fear and doubt trying to throw me off track – to tell me it would not work out, and that I was not good enough. What’s interesting is that I knew it was happening, and that it was also not true.
What helped me to realize that there could be an opportunity for me in this firm was the realization that I am unique and have value to bring to this firm.
The doubt and fear never totally went away; I feel them working at me now. But, I can focus on my Quest and my outcomes for this meeting. That’s where I find the hope.
I know I come back to these themes on a regular basis. I have to, as for to me, I am forced to embrace these aspects of the Call day in, day out. Today is a perfect example of what I mean.
As you know, I’m very selectively pursuing strategic opportunities in my professional – and let’s face it – my personal life. They’re all connected. You don’t make decisions for one, without it also being a decision for the other.
I’m getting close to the end of the evaluation / due-diligence phase with one opportunity. I can feel the fear and doubt ramp up in volume within me. So loud in fact, that they are masking the subtle intuitive nudges, and the hope I carry for a wonderful, bright future.
I guess I’ve come to realize that the bravest hero still confronts fear and doubt. It’s what they do with them that matters. Today, I felt the fear and doubt in a big way: “Will I make the right choice, when it’s time to do so?” That’s the usual question I confront.
That’s where I put my faith in my ability to take a deep breath, and make the right decision. It all starts and ends with me.
I now embrace all aspects of this journey to the Call – fear, doubt, intuition and hope.
Welcome, as I know you’re telling me a change is about to happen. And, that’s good.
Yesterday, I mentioned that I would take a step today – any step – in the direction of my passion and dreams.
It was a small step, but it helped. I found a company that is doing great work helping entrepreneurs to leverage their results from their business. My small step was to evaluate them, and formulate my contact plan. I now have that ready to go.
The end result of this step was that I settled into a calm in which I knew all would work out. I knew that the path I’m currently on was the right path. It fits.
Action is the key, when not knowing what to do. I still feel empowered – an after-effect from that small action taken many hours ago.
I don’t always know what to write about as I contemplate each daily entry in this myth blog. However, the commitment to daily writing is a key commitment I made (to myself) when starting.
It occurred to me that my hero’s journey is not one in which I’m always overly brave. That sometimes makes it difficult to write about myth, hope and abundance for my life.
But, I have this eternal Hope in my life that by moving forward each day – sometimes without full knowledge or a detailed plan – that it’ll work out.
Just as the commitment to daily writing is moving me forward, so is the commitment to daily action. With Hope.
Today, I had an interview with a technology company based in the USA.
As I prepared for the interview, I could feel my old fears start to grow, and attempt to consume me.
I don’t know why, but I caught myself thinking in this manner, and immediately decided to change my focus to looking forward to the talk with expectation, and as an adventure. (I’m a hero, after all!)
As soon as I made this mental shift, my fears went away, and I shifted into a mode where I was looking forward to telling my story. And, to hearing about theirs.
The hero’s quest is hard enough. Don’t look back – look forward instead.
As you know, I’m currently on a Quest for a new career opportunity. That is a worthy quest, and I know it. And, there are many elements of this quest that could make for good writing.
My personal challenge and frustration is finding the daily dragon(s) to slay on this quest. What are the monsters that are ravaging the world, and which need to be removed? And, how do I relate them to my personal experience from the point of view of my myths?
I get the sense I’m missing something here. This feeling has dogged me for a while now. I want to keep this blog and the writing fresh and relevant – for me, and for anyone who’s reading, too.
My intuition is telling me to keep taking the next step, and then the next, on this path. It’s all I’ve got right now, so I’ll take it.
Tomorrow is another day!
I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m on a Quest for a new, wonderful opportunity for myself. I must admit that I’ve been struggling a bit on the “what” of my next career move.
I’m looking for something that will allow me to leverage my creative talents, and my service focus, too. Abundance is a key component of my next opportunity, as well. There are more criteria, but these are certainly key.
I believe strongly that abundance is a wonderful value, and I seek it rather than look for ways to make my life smaller. I can’t live a smaller life, when there’s so much out there. I’m not talking about gross consumption – just the freedom to live life on my terms – by adding value first, of course.
Today, I received an email from an organization whose mailing list I’ve been on for a couple of years now. They offer a program that I’d be very interested in taking myself.
For whatever reason, today I read the email from them, and saw an opportunity open before me. I need to investigate more fully, but I’m thrilled to have something to sink my teeth into as part of this quest.
When one door closes, another opens …
I’m writing this post by the side of the road, as I make my way home. I’m surrounded by this beautiful vista, and listening to Anathema playing “Internal Landscapes”.
I’m struck by the magnificence of life – sights, sounds and wonder – as I make my mini-pilgrimage home. All of the elements I mentioned above have combined to give me peace and a sense of comfort that it’ll all turn out right – I’ll find the perfect opportunity, and I’ll know it when I see it.